Winning High School Football Team Excites Really Boring Town


The Delmont Dragons are just one win away from qualifying for the district playoffs in the Washington state 2A football tournament. And the boring citizens of boring Delmont couldn’t be more excited.
“This town is pulling for its Dragons right now,” said Delmont mayor Tom Scaliffe. “Everywhere you go in town you see Dragons signs and everyone you talk to wants to talk about Dragon football. The town hasn’t been this alive since there was a talk of a meteorite hitting us six or seven years ago.”
With Delmont set to play Spokane South High on Saturday with a possible No. 1 seed in the playoffs on the line, the Dragons will be feted with a pep rally in the school gymnasium on Friday. But while the rally will be held during school hours, most of the town is expected to attend.
“I’m closing down the shop early on Friday to attend the pep rally,” said Joe Hardesty, owner of Hardesty’s Auto Repair on Main Street. “The marching band, cheerleaders, the crowd – it’ll be a little slice of big city New York Broadway right here in little, old Delmont. I just hope Mrs. Reilly doesn’t mind if I don’t finish up her Buick until Monday.”
Delmont High junior Amanda Salazar says that watching the Dragons’ run through the playoffs is the most exciting thing of her young life.
“Last year when I was a quarterfinalist for county farm show princess was the most exciting thing ever,” said Salazar. “But then I got the flu and had a bad fever on the day of the judging and threw up all over the stage. Now I have Dragons fever. Dragons fever is much better.”
Fellow Dragons fan Christie Taylor, a Delmont junior, says she has developed a personal connection with the team.
“I went to a party at one player’s house last night and let our quarterback go down my pants,” says Taylor. “I’m in love now. I’m going to be his wife one day when he is a famous quarterback in the NFL.”
But while the Dragons are exciting most of Delmont’s population, others have been hurt by the team’s success.
“I have mixed feelings,” said Shirley Nash, an active local volunteer. “This weekend is our annual Soup Cooking Competition. It’s the biggest event in town each year and usually brings in more than $300 to local business from out of town guests. But this year everyone in town will be away to see the Dragons play. I just hope they don’t get lured in by the big city ways of Spokane and stop loving the perfect life we have here in Delmont.”


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