Players-only meeting spent discussing whether to admit kicker and punter

The struggling Washington Redskins held a closed-door, players-only meeting today, but spent the entire session debating whether to admit the team’s kicker and punter.“Look, I know I’m not a team captain or anything, but it has to be said: kicker and punters are queers,” said tight end Chris Cooley. “They are not real football players. They are like little girls, kicking all day like Rockettes. If they get in, we may as well just let the cheerleaders in, too.”Quarterback Todd Collins agreed with Cooley’s comments, but also made the point that kickers are often called upon to win games in the final seconds, and that punters are integral in battles of field possession. The rest of the team agreed that cheerleaders should be admitted, especially that Latin one with the huge jugs who supposedly goes both ways.After 20 minutes of debate, the Redskins decided to admit the punter and kicker and proceeded to make fun of them for several minues and then the meeting was dismissed.“I hope they worked out some of their issues,” said head coach Jim Zorn. "Sometimes these players' meetings are what turns the tide."