NFL Players Take Pink Steroids In Honor of Breast Cancer Awareness

Pink was the color of choice in the NFL’s Week 4, with players, coaches, and fans donning pink garb in observance of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In keeping with the spirit of the weekend, we now know that many NFL players also dyed their steroids pink, a colorful reminder that breast cancer awareness is crucial both outside and inside of the body.
“We think it’s a really good way for players to help raise breast cancer awareness,” said commissioner Roger Goodell. “Knowing that so many of our players do steroids and that so many of them know someone who has had breast cancer, we felt this was a perfect match. Of course, wearing pink wristbands is nice, too, but more of our players do steroids than wear wristbands. Way more. In fact, most players who do wear wristbands wear them just to cover up their injection marks.”
Goodell said it was the players who came up with the idea for the pink steroids.
“When the players heard we would have a ‘pink’ theme for Week 4, they came to us and asked if they could do this,” he said. “We thought it was a wonderful idea. Now, of course, we do not advocate steroid use. But if you’re going to use them, at least make them pink. Plus, steroids have also been known to cause cancer, so there’s kind of a nifty synergy there.”
The commissioner also noted that the players’contribution to breast cancer awareness shows that, despite some bad publicity, there are still plenty of good guys in the league.
“People always want to focus on negative stuff,” he said. “But I think this shows that there are plenty of great people in this league. I mean, they’re taking time out of their own day to dye their steroids pink. If that doesn’t silence the critics, I don’t know what will.”
Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman, one of dozens of players participating in “Operation Pink Juice,”said the idea was born out of a desire to remind people of the dangers of breast cancer. And also take steroids.
“This is just our little way of contributing to breast cancer awareness,” said Merriman, holding up a small vial of pink liquid. “Some guys are wearing pink shoes, some pink wristbands, and some are taking pink steroids. Either way the message is the same: 40 percent of women are at risk of breast cancer and they should get check-ups or something. Also, the NFL will do pretty much anything for a good cause provided it doesn’t cost them any money and the sponsors are on board with it."
Merriman said he had no problem with the color pink and didn’t think it showed a lack of manliness.
“Hey, I don’t mind pink at all,” he said. “It’s a nice color and if it’s being done for a good cause it’s even nicer. Plus I’m very secure in my masculinity. It’s going to take a lot more than pink food coloring in my steroids to make me feel soft. Not doing steroids, for example."