Game Halted To Honor A-Rod’s Achievement of "True Yankee"

Following an Alex Rodriguez home run in the bottom of the 11th inning on an 0-2 count that tied the game, Game 2 of the ALCS between the Yankees and Angels was halted so Rodriguez could be honored in a special ceremony at home plate for achieving the status of "true Yankee."
"This is the biggest honor any player in baseball can ever hope to achieve," said a tearful Rodriguez, as he was informed of his new designation at a home plate ceremony by commissioner Bud Selig. Existing "true Yankees" lined up to shake Rodriguez's hand, while members of the Angels stood off to the side and respectfully applauded, some taking pictures.
Rodriguez's blast was his third game-tying home run in the seventh inning or later this postseason. The accomplishment was enough to earn the status of "true Yankee," including all the rights and privileges according a true Yankee. Rodriguez will now have dinner and drinks comped within the New York metropolitan area for the rest of his life, passersby will stop referring to him as a "choker," "douchebag," or "overpaid, lipstick-wearing queer," the New York Post will cease publishing mocking headlines, and he will carry himself with a general sense of awesomeness.
Many Yankees greats were on hand or the ceremony, including Hall of Famers, as well as extremely true Yankees like Scott Brosius and Paul O'Neill.
"To have my name uttered in the same sentence as someone like Scott Brosius," said Rodriguez after the game, "well … it's pretty special. This is the kind of thing you dream about as a baseball player."
Yankee captain Derek Jeter said he is glad to welcome another member to the true Yankee club.
"Being a true Yankee isn't about stats, it's about some sort of indefinable criteria dreamt up by our fans and the media," he said. "And Alex has finally fully met those requirements, whatever they might be."
Rodriguez says he will not take the responsibility lightly.
"To whom much is given, much is expected," he said. "The great and true Yankee Luis Sojo taught me that."


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