There is no God: Tim McCarver has an album

Just released, this soundtrack of hell is called Tim McCarver Sings Selections from the Great American Songbook.
As though McCarver hasn't done enough damage by ruining America's pastime for the past 20 years, now he has to reach back deeper into the last century and crap all over that, too.
This album includes old standards like "On A Clear Day" and "Gee Baby Ain't I Good To You." Mercifully, there are no McCarver originals — although I would have liked to hear the McCarver classic "A Leadoff Walk Produces More Runs Than a Home Run" set to music. Assuming nails on a chalkboard can be considered an instrument. But everything on the album is old. So don't expect anything contemporary like "Joe Buck's Second-Favorite Website is SuckingC** (with Artie Lange)."
The thing is, this album will probably be more successful than anything you or I do in our entire lives. You know it. I know it. Because life is a slow, dark, meaningless trek to death.
Also, this album's sales will be boosted by a highly-produced ad campaign, in which McCarver tells the nation that he sings "one hit after another."

I wish I was deaf.