Ralph Friedgen breaks his hot seat

Maryland head football coach Ralph Friedgen got off the hot seat today when it crushed beneath his enormous girth.“I don’t think I should have been on the hot seat in the first place,” said Friedgen. “But it's nice to be off of it. That is stressful for any coach." Friedgen's secretary, Terry McIntyre, said she wasn't able to explain to her boss that hot seats are not literal. "He was eating fresh pies this morning and accidentally sat on one of them and got a bit of a burn," she said.Now off the hot seat, Friedgen’s next goal will be to get off the ground.“Little help down here,” said the coach. “I’m a big guy and I have a bit of a trouble getting up once I sit down. Anyone. Well, any dozen or so. Fat man in need here, people. Help me out and I'll give you some pie.”