Frustrated Third Base Coach Changes Swing Sign To Middle Finger

As a disappointing season winds down that saw the team's total runs scored and batting average both drop significantly, White Sox third base coach Jeff Cox has taken it upon himself to change the team's "swing away" sign. Gone is the old sign — two taps on the right ear lobe followed by a touch to the wrist. And in its place is a much simple signal: two raised middle fingers extended directly at the batter.
"I can't tell you how much more enjoyable this has made the last two weeks," said Cox. "There's nothing like giving the finger over and over to these pieces of crap. They deserve it for how they've played this year. I think I actually prefer this to winning and being in the playoffs."
Cox has been been giving the swing sign to every batter on every pitch regardless of the game situation since the White Sox were officially eliminated from playoff contention. However, he does tweak the sign depending on the batter.
"For someone like Carlos Quentin, who has really sucked this year, I add a verbal element," says Cox.
That was displayed last night during Quentin's first at-bat when Cox gave him the two raised middle fingers, but then also verbally abused him.
"Yeah, swing away, you piece of crap!" Cox yelled down the line. "Yeah, I'm giving you the swing sign, a—hole. Not like you can hit anything anyway. Try, though. Please try. I need a laugh."
Cox was asked to stop his profanity-strewn outburst by umpires — and also by opposing players — but he instead gave them the swing sign, too.
"I'm not doing anything these players haven't seen before," said Cox.
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen agrees.
"I'm glad Jeff finally took the kid's gloves off," said Guillen. "For weeks I've been walking down the line of lockers and slapping all the guys in the face with my penis while I cuss them out. Cox is the supportive one around here."