BYU fans to celebrate upset victory with lights-on sex

Ecstatic over their Cougars' upset victory over Oklahoma in the season opener, BYU fans say they may throw caution to the wind and celebrate the win the most crazy way they can imagine. "Lights-on sex," said BYU season ticket holder Don Smith. "Not the room light, of course. They didn't win the national title or anything. The hallway light. But still … golly. I can't wait. Miriam says she is up for it. Gosh, this is so … golly!" Cougars head coach Bronco Mendenhall says he can hardly wait to get back to the team's hotel. "My wife gave me a kiss after the game. Open mouth! I think we're going to have intercourse tonight. And not simply for procreation either."