5 Benching Tips — by Brady Quinn

Hi, this is Brady Quinn, quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. But you may know me better from Notre Dame, or from my Subway or EAS commercials.
Either way, you know me … and that means you know my muscles, too. They're huge. And you don't get muscles this big without working out. Hard.
Today's workout? The bench.
Follow these tips and soon enough you'll be as good on the bench as I am.
5 BENCH TIPS — by Brady Quinn
Step 1 — Stretch!
Stretching is an important part of any workout. I like to play two quarters of a football game to stretch. Sometimes I play more, but usually I am pulled after two quarters and sent to the bench.
Step 2 — Work those biceps and triceps!
The Cleveland Browns are not much of a team. Most of us hate each other. We fight all the time. Constant losing does that to a team, you know? So when I get sent to the bench, my teammates usually mock me with stuff like: "Hey, Brady, which way to the bench?" My response? "The bench is thattaway!" When delivering the line, start with a strong bicep curl and then extend the arm to point to the bench, working your triceps.
Step 3 — Blast your quads!
Now it's time to sit on the bench. Spread your legs about shoulder-width apart and sit back and down onto the bench. Recline slowly to really burn your quads, as this will be only one repetition — you'll be here on the bench the rest of the day, unfortunately.
Step 4 — Focus on your core!
Strong core muscles are the key to any fit body. Once you are sitting on the bench, you'll want to lean forward and and put your head in your hands to show your disappointment about sucking. Make sure to contract your abs when doing this. Then, after a few minutes, sit back up straight. Contract your lower back muscles to do this move. Next, just wait a minute or two for your teammates to do something embarrassing on the field and contract those abs again down to shamed head-holding. You will do this move an indefinite amount of times each game. You'll have a six-pack by midseason!
Step 5 — Don't forget cardio!
Too many bodybuilders forget about cardio. Not only is cardio good for your health and your heart, it's imperative to getting really cut. I do my cardio at the end of my bench workout. You should do the same. If the game is over, it's time to get up off the bench and run into the locker room. Need extra motivation to hit top speed? Listen to the crowd.
"You suck, Brady!"
"I hate you, Browns! I hate you with all my heart!"
"You look like a horse, Quinn!"
Run! Run! Run away from these mean people!