Hockey Fan Doesn’t Want Any Pussy Health Insurance


As the health care debate rages on in the United States, many hockey fans states throughout the country have come forward to say they have no interest in ever getting health insurance.
“I can live through anything. A broken leg? Pfft. I once finished a 12-hour shift on a broken leg and didn’t even take my lunch break,” said Paul Marleau, a Detroit factory worker. “Health insurance is for pussies like baseball fans to get their hamstrings checked every week.”
Marleau says he models his healthcare views and pain threshold on former Red Wings star Steve Yzerman.
“Yzerman would play through anything,” says Marleau. “He could be bleeding, bruised, broken and he’d finish out his shift – and not only finish it but dole out some punishment of his own on the way off the ice.”
Marleau says he would have played the same way in the NHL had his junior career not been cut short due to him getting his right leg amputated. The leg had become hopelessly infected after the young defenseman refused to receive medical attention for what was initially a small cut on his knee.
Yzerman says he worries about the many hockey fans out there who try to live their lives like their on-ice heroes.
“Everyone should have access to quality health care,” he said. “That should be a human right. The reason hockey players are so willing to sacrifice their bodies is because we have great health coverage in the NHL. And then in Canada we have a pretty solid healthcare plan for everyone, too. If I didn’t have health insurance, I never would have put myself out there like that. Are you kidding me?”
“Oh,” said Marleau upon learning of Yzerman’s statement. He then excused himself from the interview to get treatment for an eye laceration he suffered three weeks ago.


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