Gender test determines Caster Semanya is a tender lover

IAAC official Pierre Garoux emerged from his office after administering a gender test to Caster Semanya and announced to the gathered press corps that the South African 800m runner is a tender, attentive lover. "Unfortunately, I still don't know if Semanya is male or female," said Garoux. Garoux says he and the runner hit it off while conversing before the test began and, once the Semanya's underpants were removed to commence the exam, things quickly escalated. "I don't know if Caster will ultimately be allowed to compete and I don't quite know what equipment I was handling down there," he said. "But I do know one thing: I love her or him."