Vikings Give Tarvaris Jackson, Sage Rosenfels Friday Deadline to Stop Sucking

Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress informed quarterbacks Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels today that they have until Friday to stop sucking at quarterback or the team may have to resort to signing washed-up veteran Brett Favre.
“We were patiently waiting for them to stop sucking, but it’s gone on long enough,” said Childress. “We need an answer now. Are you going to continue to blow? If, yes, that’s fine. Just let us know so we can look elsewhere for someone who doesn’t blow to such a great degree.”
Jackson says he will wait until the deadline to make a decision.
“I hoped I would be given more time,” he said. “I’m only 26. I could use another year to decide. But if I had to say now … I don’t know. Honestly, I’d have to go with continue to suck. I don’t think I have another option right now. But I’ll wait until Friday. Maybe it will all click or something by then and I’ll feel like I belong on an NFL field.”
While Jackson is leaning towards continuing to suck, Rosenfels thinks he can step up for the Vikings and not suck.
“It depends on how coach defines ‘sucking,’” he said. “I can be as solid as anyone for the first three quarters. And then I will completely fall apart at the end. Always. But that’s three good quarters to one bad. 3-1, good beats out sucking.”
The former Texans quarterback says even if he decides to not stop sucking, he still feels he is Minnesota’s best option.
“I’m going to be horrible in the fourth quarter,” he said. “That’s a given. But so will Brett Favre. Difference is, I’ll do it for less money and I’m not an a—hole.”