Tim Tebow may have two national titles. He may have a Heisman. He may stand 6-foot-3, 240 pounds. But he could be much more intimidating.
It's that John 3:16 eye black. God giving his only son? Everlasting life? Sounds kind of … soft.
Tebow would be much scarier if he barreled downfield with one of these verses stuck to his face.
Deuteronomy 23:2 – No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the Lord.
2 Kings 2:23-24 – From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. “Go up, baldhead,” they shouted, “go up, baldhead!” The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore 42 of the children to pieces.
Ezekiel 23:19-20 – But she played the harlot all the more, recalling the days of her girlhood, when she had been a harlot in the land of Egypt. She lusted for the lechers of Egypt, whose genitals are as large as those of donkeys, and whose seminal emission is as that of stallions.
Psalm 137:9 - Happy are those who seize your children and smash them against a rock.
If Tebow wants to get people talking about Scripture, which is an admirable goal, those are some verses that will do it far better than John 3:16 will. So, Tim, I’ve done the groundwork for you. You take it from here (or I will smash your future children’s testicles against a rock for being baldhead harlots whose seminal emission is as that of stallions. Stallions, Tim! Stallions!).