Steroids-using golfer hits titanic putt 60-feet past the hole

The PGA Tour player who golfing legend Gary Player said is on steroids, says he blasted an eight-foot putt some 60 feet past the hole today in a practice round – proof that his newfound muscle is really starting to produce on the course. “All those steroids are starting to pay off,” said the unnamed golfer. “I’m absolutely crushing my putts right now. I don’t have the accuracy yet, but the distance is there. The greens can’t contain me anymore. It doesn’t matter how big they are. It doesn’t even matter if its one of those giant British Open greens – I’ll knock the putt right off.” The anonymous golfer says that while he hasn’t gotten off of a green with less than three putts in several weeks, he feels his steroids use is helping his game. “It sends a message to the other players. It intimidates them,” he says. “When they see me blast a putt off the green or put a huge dent in the back rim of the cup, they know they can’t match my power. They may earn more money on the Tour than me, or quote unquote ‘score better’ than me, but they can’t match my power, the size of my biceps or the quality of golf groupies that I get. And that’s all that matters.”