Poorly-endowed swimmer said to have an unfair advantage

As the debate continues to rage over swimsuit technology, several swimmers have begun complaining that Australian swimmer David Patterson has an unfair advantage in the pool due to his tiny penis and testicles. "His almost complete lack of bulge creates almost no drag in the water," said Michael Phelps. "I bet I could take a second or two off all of my times if I was that poorly endowed." Phelps and other swimmers support the adoption of a bulge standardization rule that would require swimmers to wear a cod piece if their manhood is deemed to be too small. "It's the only fair way to do it," said Phelps. "Not all of us were lucky enough to be born with miniature junk."