Middle School Boys Declare: Poo-Holes Our Favorite MLB Star

A study released today by Major League Baseball to gauge middle school boys’ interest in baseball has found that St. Louis Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols is the most favorite player among the age group.
“Poo-holes! Poo-holes! Poo-holes!” yelled Billy Thomas, age 12, when asked who his favorite player was. His pronouncement received a chorus of agreeing giggles at his lunch table.

“Some people like Jeter, others say A-Rod is the best,” said Johnny Oldham, age 11, “but I’ve got two words for you: Poo and Holes.” Oldham went on to say that he has suffered for his devotion to his favorite player. His social studies teacher, Mrs. Mandlebrew, has sent him too the office several times after he has declared his love for Pujols.
The study found that many of the boys were unclear as to the correct spelling of Pujols name. When told that the Cardinals star spelled his name “P-u-j-o-l-s” and not “P-o-o H-o-l-e-s” as all the boys had written on their surveys, Garret Wilson, age 12, looked distraught before loudly declaring: “I don’t care. He’ll always be a big, stinky poo hole to me!” He then turned and skipped off down the hall.
Former Baltimore Orioles star Boog Powell was voted the most favorite retired player among the age group. Dick Trickle won for favorite non-team sports athlete. Megan Fox took first in every other category.


Advertisement