Michael, You’re Invited!

What: To a meeting to discuss your reinstatement into the the NFL now that you are out of federal prison for running a dogfighting ring!
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When: Friday, July 24, 2009 — at Noon sharp!
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Where: The offices of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell — 280 Park Avenue, 15th Floor, New York, NY!
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What To Bring: Sincere remorse. And an appetizer! And if it's nice, your swim trunks!
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What Not To Bring: Dog pelts or dogfighting paraphernalia! Strippers. Also, nothing with peanuts. (Roger is allergic!)
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RSVP: Through your agent by Thursday, July 23rd!
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Hope to see you! Be there or be in the UFL! (LOL!)
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