Michael Vick’s Shoes Made of Animal Skins


With Michael Vick facing the biggest interview of his life this week with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell,new accusations have been levied against the one-time NFL star Michael Vick. According to numerous sources, Vick has worn shoes made from the skin of murdered cows for the entirety of his college and professional career.
“Yes, it’s true,” said Vick’s attorney, Roger Martin. “We maintain that he sincerely regrets his role in the dogfighting ring, but he does have a history of wearing cow flesh on his feet. He’s not proud of it, but I think this admission proves that we have nothing to hide. Ohmigod … did I say hide? That was totally unintentional. Honestly. I'm not trying to make light of this with a poor pun. Please believe me. I don't want Roger Goodell to think we think this is funny.”
But while Vick’s camp admits to his dark history of wearing discarded animal hides, the story is not likely to die there.
“These cow skins he has been wearing are taken from cows that were systematically slaughtered for use of nothing but their skin,” said a source within the federal prosecutor’s office. “We think this shows a pattern of animal cruelty in Michael’s past. Many of the cows had their neck’s slit or were electrocuted or shot – methods no less cruel than how Michael and his friends executed their dogs.”
Many of Vick’s supporters say the troubled quarterback is being singled out for something that many people take part in.
“Wearing shoes made of cow skins is a cultural thing,” said Vick’s brother Marcus. “There are parts of the country where dogfighting is not a big deal. Just as there are other parts of the country were slaughtering cows in order to make comfortable, stylish footwear is accepted, too. I doubt Goodell is going to show up to their meeting wearing shoes and a belt made out of recycled newspapers, you know?”
Marcus Vick's statement suggests his brother may also wear some sort of animal flesh around his waist.


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