GMs Trade Conversation Somehow Devolves Into Phone Sex

Talks over the phonebetween Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro and Indians GM Mark Shapiro leading up to the Cliff Lee trade reportedly took a dramatic turn late Tuesday night when the pair found themselves engaged in phone sex.
“I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but it happened,” said Amaro. “We’ve been spending a lot of time on thephonetogether recently and I guess it’s one of those things like in any workplace where sparks can fly and two people can end up building an intense sexual tension between one another simply because of all the hours spent together working towards a common goal. It was late, we were on the phone, and one thing just led to another.”
“As the talks drew on, I was getting tired and I told Ruben that I wanted to get out of my work clothes and put on something more comfortable,” said Shapiro. “He asked me what I was wearing. I told him Dockers and a polo shirt and it turned out he was wearing the same thing. And before I knew it, my pants were down around my ankles and I was muttering: ‘Oh, yeah. You want me to pick up 100 percent of Cliff Lee’s contract, don’t you? Come on, you know you want it. Tell me you need another position player to make this deal happen. That’s right, make me work for it.’”
Amaro said he doesn’t think the incident says anything about the sexual preference of either executive.
"It was simply a voice on the other end of the line,” he said. “A welcoming voice that I had become accustomed to talking to. It was nothing more than a means to relieve stress and hopefully break down barriers between us and finally get a deal worked out that will bring a top pitcher here to Philadelphia. And to be honest, I enjoyed it. I hope to deal with Larry again in the future.”
But Shapiro isn’t so sure.
“For me, at least, it was extremely awkward when it was over. I felt used,” he said. “Doing something like that is totally unlike me. Especially to engage in that kind of behavior with another man. And a fellow GM, no less. I get a sense Ruben seduces everyone — GMs, agents. I bet it's how he got Raul Ibanez so cheap."
While Shapiro is happy with what he got in return for Lee, and even happier that he was able to achieve orgasm in the process, he doubts he will be trading again with the Phillies anytime soon.
"There was a certain walk of shame when I got off the phone and told my assistants and the owner that the trade was done," he said. "They were happy with the deal, but I can tell I lost some of their respect in how I got it done. I need to value myself more in the future and not just whore myself out to any GM on the phone who wants to deal with me or compliments me on how big I am down there."


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