Opinion How to Get a Beach Body in 10 Minutes!
BOOM! Look at you now all pumped up! Do five more for good measure. Okay, two more.
Now … HURRY! Get down to the beach and get your shirt off before you stop being cut! Time’s-a-wasting, tubby!
2. Breathe in … suck in those abs … and now hold it … all day. From the minute you take off your shirt to show off the ripped chest and arms your pushups created until when you put your shirt back on and leave the beach, you’ll have to hold your breath. Sorry. Oh. One side note: be careful if you pass out. Your arms are probably exhausted from the 12 pushups and will be too weak to help you break your fall.
3. Never sit down – Even people who are in shape have little rolls of skin that billow out over the top of their shorts when they sit down. If you sit down, your roll of skin will be a flesh tidal wave, laying waste to the eyes of everyone near you.
News Tom Brady's Father: "I would be very hesitant to let my son out of the house dressed like that"
“I love my son and all of the pride, joy, and money he’s brought to this family,” said the elder Brady. “But I just don’t understand some of the choices he’s been making these last few years. I’ve been married for a while now, too, so I get that they’re not necessarily his ‘choices,’ but for the love of God, does he have to wear these ridiculous outfits? Show some stones and be a man, boy!”
After a 20-minute rant about Mrs. Brady’s penchant for making him cancel his golf plans, the elder Brady requested a refill of his bourbon on the rocks and continued.
“Tom and I have a very special relationship. When he was a kid, I never pushed him too hard when it came to football, but he always knew that getting the same haircut as the current hot pop-star or wearing women’s shoes would never fly in my household,” said Mr. Brady.
Spilling the drink as it was handed to him, Tom, Sr. then proceeded to change out of his pleated Dockers slacks and put on a pair of elastic-ankled sweatpants while repeating the phrase “I don’t care how comfy they are, mate. They’s for sheilas,” in a British accent that was most likely meant to be Australian.
“You know who never put his hair in a ponytail? Johnny Unitas,” Mr. Brady asked and answered before giving anyone else a chance to chime in. “You know who never posed for GQ? Johnny Unitas. You know who never lost two Lombardi trophies to Eli Manning? Johnny Unitas.”
Picture Anthony Davis Portrait Made of Kix and Reese's Puffs
This is everything the art world was waiting for.
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Tweet of the Week
Of Strippers and STDs ...
From @royhelujr29 AKA Washington Redskins running back Roy Helu …
News Lebron James Fails to Win Ring in 2nd Round Playoff Victory
James bristled at media questions following the game about his inability to win it all, saying “the playoffs aren’t over” – yet the fact remains that defeating the Pacers left the supposed best player in basketball still without an NBA championship.
The MVP has advanced out of the 2nd Round in past postseasons only to lose later on, suggesting 2012 is shaping up exactly like his well-known playoff failures.
“I’m not sure you all are understanding how the playoffs work,” said James, pathetically defending himself. “Advancing out of the 2nd Round is necessary in order to get to the NBA Finals and win. Yes, I’m still short of the ultimate goal, but I can’t and won’t apologize for winning this series. It was a requirement to get a ring.”
In the decisive Game 6, James fell short of his series’ highs in points, rebounds and assists, suggesting he is regressing as the Eastern Conference and NBA Finals near.
Opinion New York Yankees on eBay
Video Pro Wrestlers vs. Inanimate Objects
Inanimate objects need to start taking steroids.
