#1 1993 NBA Finals
What Happened: In Game 6 of the 1993 NBA Finals, with the Bulls leading the series 3-2, Chicago gets the ball trailing 98-96 with 14.4 seconds left. Jordan brings the ball up the court, but is stopped by Kevin Johnson and forced to pass. The Bulls eventually swing the ball around to John Paxson, who hits a game-winning 3-pointer with 3.9 seconds left.
How It's Remembered: In Game 7 of the 1993 NBA Finals, as the final seconds tick away, Michael Jordan leaps off of John Paxson's back beyond the 3-point line, soars over the entire Suns team, and completes a 360-dunk as the final horn sounds to win the championship. He then high-fives Mars Blackmon at mid-court.
#2 The Flu Game
What Happened: Fighting a stomach illness during Game 5 of the 1997 Finals in Utah, Jordan scores 38 points to lead the Bulls to a 3-2 series lead over the Jazz.
How It's Remembered: Despite a fever of 125 degrees, Jordan posts a quadruple-double against the Jazz, going for double figures in points, rebounds, assists, and number of times he actually died during the game.
They should get "Probably Not" printed up on t-shirts.
The Astros have been taking a No. 2 for years now, so no big deal.
"I know this may rub some people in the Bears organization the wrong way. And some Bears fans, too, probably," said Urlacher. "But it's my right to end my career the way I want to end it, and doing it as a member of the Green Bay Packers unquestionably the best franchise in the NFC North throughout my career and, really, all of NFC North history brings me great joy. Not being a member of the Bears on this day is the highlight of my career."
Urlacher then fought back tears as he spoke about how much it means to him to no longer be a part of the Bears: "You dream of this your whole career but never really believe it could happen," he said, tears rolling down his cheeks.
The linebacker's press conference was attended by many Packers players in a sign of respect for all of his accomplishments.
"Brian was one of the greats," said quarterback Aaron Rodgers. "If the Bears had more players like him, they wouldn't always be so easy to beat."
#1 The Loyal Fan
Description: His loyalty to his favorite team is unmatched. In fact, he's willing to pay 75 bucks for a fantasy baseball league, and guarantee that he loses it, just so he can have as many of his favorite players as possible. While you're spending your 10th round pick on a team's No. 2 starter or starting second baseman, he's already taking his team's utility infielder, because one time he "saw him at a charity golf event" and he was "really nice."
Team name: The Milwaukee Brewers.
#2 The Guy Who Plays for the First Four Months, Then Stops
Description: This guy was the most excited to play this season. He'd call you during the winter meetings, discuss potential sleepers, and was the first to arrive for the draft. H'es one of the most active guys on the waiver wire and trading block for the first few months, but then, after his ace is placed on the DL or "work picks up" (lie), he just up and goes AWOL. He doesn't return your trade offers, and drifts slowly back in the standings. When you see him after the season and ask what happened, he'll say something like "Oh sorry for having a life." He is a jerk, but you need a 12th, so he'll be back next season.
Team name: A funny joke that was only relevant in April and got progressively lamer during the season.
Somewhere, probably on a couch in a trailer home, Bryant Reeves watches and thinks the Grizzlies are honoring him.
"His skin is blacker than Tiger's so I was hoping I could go with a killer fried chicken dig, but it turns out he's not really black or something?" said Garcia. "I don't know. These minorities are so confusing. They don't like being lumped all together even though we white people see them all the same."
Garcia said he spent a few minutes reading about Fiji on Wikipedia, but found the site lacking in good slurs.
"There was all kind of history about Dutch explorers and who knows what else," he said. "Like I care. I specifically don't care about his people, that's why I want to say a slur to him. I just want one word or phrase I can use to really let Vijay have it if he ever pulls a club out of his bag while I'm thinking about hitting my shot. It shouldn't be this hard."
Picture Soccer: The Deadliest Sport
Stop flopping just because you were hit with an arrow!